Stats & Stalking

I was flipping thru my Blog Stats a few days ago to see what viewage is like now vs. during my brain fart.  I know some of you have mentioned from time to time the most common/random/awesome words people search and stumble to come across your blog.  So I took a little looksee…  The results?

People are obsessed with New York, Las Vegas & Renoir.
They also want to know more about:
-   sultry leather
-   how tall is Adam Sevani
-   cassette45 (aww you love me! tanks kids!)
-   worst roller coaster accidents
-   “starting over at 24″ and facebook

Oooohh Nooos! So@24, someone is stalking you!!!! Must be those sweetass Lion King icebreakers.

Episode 2: Stoners

Adventures in the City:  Episode #2
Brought to you by Biking at Night Productions

Living on the East Side of the city means you get accustomed to seeing people from all walks of life daily.  It’s the more ‘creative’ side of town.  Sure it is overrun with yuppies on the main streets, but there are also the students, artists, musicians, baristas (yes they get their own category) & homeless.  Live here long enough and you start to question “why not get your neck, lip or eyebrow* pierced”. 

What do you think? Should I get one? ;)

Biking around some of the darker streets a few nights back I came a upon a herd of stereotypical stoners.  Dreaded, half dressed, supporting the Value Village clothing trend, moving slowly, with a sickly sweet stench you could smell all the way down the street… stereotypical stoner behavior.  But traveling in packs? That’s news to me. I could see them just a block ahead:  If I travel at a rate of X and they are meandering at a rate of Y, at what time will we intersect?  lol. Seriously. I slowed as I approached the corner thinking to let the 20 of them pass.  One little girl** took off when she saw me. Racing toward me as I paused, she circled me 2x yelling “I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU” and then ran away down the street leaving me an the rest of the pack laughing in her wake.

love this city.

 

*On the Record - I hate that I took out my eyebrow piercing. It’s been over a year since I joined the corporate world (which did not approve) and took it out.  I miss it. sadness.
**Little as in could have been 12 by looks due in part to height & frame, messy ponytail, & the requiste XXL Grateful Dead t-shirt draping down to her knees.

I was flipping thru my journal - you know, the papercopy I cheat on this blog with - and came across an entry with the quote:

It’s never too late to be what you might have been.
- George Eliot (aka Mary Ann Evans)

I’ve been thinking along those lines recently. It’s inspired me to take up some of the things I’ve never pursued because of a fear of failure in the eyes of my peers.

I’ve never been so excited to make an ass outa myself.  Can’t wait to report back. 

 

Readers:  Anything you want to do but haven’t had the guts to try?

Update

As one or two of you may have noticed, I fell off the face of the earth for a while.  Sorry kids! I’d like to say I quit my job, moved & was snatched up by a talent agency for my mad dance skills. Unfort not.  I was just a bit bored with the whole blogging bit. Not to say I haven’t been keeping tabs on all of you. Don’t you fret. I’ve been faithfully blogstalking     every.  last.  one.  of.  you.

Let’s see… My life is:
Work = Dumbass boss, silent office, SUPER BUSY
Home = Woah.

Yea. Woah. I’ve complained a few times (read millions) about my charming roommate. Well, she’s moved out. Yeppers. I set Sept 1st as the Move-Into-New-Apt date, and she finally took me seriously. She quit her job in the city over a month ago & decided to move in with her sister back in the hometown. I was actually quite psyched about that. I told her “you can have the couch ($50 bought together) as I’m gonna buy a new one” and “Well, since I was borrowing your sister’s old bed and will have a new one from my sister, you can have that back too.”  The mattress, box frame & bed frame… all her sister’s.  No problem. My sister moved in w/ her boyfriend/baby daddy and freed up her old bed for me to steal.  My car can’t handle it, but my parents offered to drive it down the wkend I move in.  Roomie was planning on renting a uhaul when she moved out to handle all her stuff. Great I thought.

But I meant like… you know… Sept 1st? Roomie decided to move on August 1st. She’s not gonna back out of the rent, but you should see the place. Living room… pretty f*ing empty. Her room… pretty f*ing empty.  My room… full minus bed.

You see there is a hole in my air mattress and I can’t figure out where. So I’ve been sleeping on the hardwood floor with 2 blankets. I can rough it. NBD right? Actually, it really hasnt been much of an issue - til this morning when I woke up with a major sunburn and a knot the size of a grapefruit in my back. Rock on.

In the meantime life has been happening:
- Approved for new apt
- Dreaming of decorating new apt w/ my amazing black & white photography collection
- Watching awesome cheesiness a la Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller & Breakfast Club
- RIP krazr - Hello old razr
- RIP ancient ipod mini - Hello cds last purchased in high school…
Currently rocking out to my old collection of hard rock, heavy metal, punk rock, pop punk, ska, jazz, etc…

Can you believe I used to hardcore love the following bands/artists?
Metallica
Drowning Pool
System of a Down
The Ataris
Jimmy Eat World
Me First & the Gimme Gimmes
Hoobastank

So…. what with the last few posts et al… I’m back to blogging. sporadically. for now.

 

UPDATE:   Hole in mattress confirmed at 2am this morning.  Study’s results show:  Not worth risk of passing out trying to blow up air mattress by breath alone only to be lying on hardwood floor again 4hrs later.

Dance TV Musings

More interesting stories to come soon. Promise.  In the meantime, a few thoughts…

Currently watching So You Think You Can Dance season finale. Mucho Love. Except I hate that this is the end until next summer. :(  I want it to just keep going.

I have similar feelings about the ACDC / M&M finale at Teen Choice Awards. Yes I DID watch just to see the dance battle.  If you care to know what I thought:  I think the camera guy who shot the ACDC routine was drunk.  I have the same feelings sometimes about SYTYCD because the camera will swoop and spin in such a way that it simply must be cabled like that do in stadiums for the football games.  Drives me nuts.  Dance of this calibur does not need the extra flash of fun camera-ing.

So sad ACDC is over. I want it back. Guess I’ll just have to keep hoping they’ll keep posting videos just for the hell of it.

PS - Rock on SYTYCD for classing it up with all that extra cultural influence this season with the Bollywood and Russian Trepak pieces.  Phenom.

Country Animals on College Campuses

As I am “on lunch” I figured I throw an update on here so I remember to journal later.  Yes, I do use blogger as a way to write my journal entries when I’ve forgotten my journal at home.  Yes, I will copy it word for word tonight.  And yes, I do enjoying doing the same task twice. That’s a talent I’ve acquired via the JOB.

Adventures in the City:  Episode #1
Brought to you by Biking at Night Productions

Last night I saw a skunk. Shocked? I was. But let’s start this story right…

After watching a thrilling episode of So You Think You Can Dance and giving up on trying to call in to vote for Twitch (that would’ve been TV vote #2 ever for those of you who had a sudden *cough*loser*cough* fit), I decided to go for a bike ride. I love going out in the city at night. Nocturnal is much more interesting. The stars are out. There’s a cool breeze off the lakefront. Streets are semi-empty. Drivers are less attentive. A perfect night.

The kid in me always likes to bike over by the university with its dark streets and haunted lighting. As I was riding past, I thought -for the 8millionth time- I really should have visited friends down here more often.  I decided to ride through the campus for the first time. Not sure why I’ve never done that before.

Enjoyed passing the library with its hardcore summer students and cool waterfountain. Stopping outside the music practice room to watch Unknown Hottie reach a beautiful crescendo on the timpani. Resting for a moment while enjoying the view of the courtyard and watching the scurryings of a small animal scavenging for crumbs. It was pretty in the dark despite it’s slightly ratty black & white fur.

Then it hit me. THAT is a skunk. A SKUNK. 15 feet from me. I was frozen for a moment as all my grandpa’s stories of washing the dogs in tomato juice when they got sprayed came to mind. Conflicting thoughts entered the brain: What do I do?! I kinda want to take a picture. Should I leave? If I move, it will notice me. Will it spray me? Could I get a picture without it noticing? Should I move? I should. Ooo It’s meandering away a bit. Should I wait for it to walk away?

It didn’t seem to be paying any attention.  So I whipped out my cell and zoomed in on the little beast who was at the edge of the lit path now. Blurry. Damn. Ok, one more. Oh he’s coming closer. That’s right. Back into the light now. Come on. Little closer.  I closed my cell after getting the shot.  He was still hurrying here and there picking up the bits dropped by students as they had wandered between classes earlier that day.  I’m now satisfied with my mad cellphone photography skillz, but he’s too close now for me to just bike away without attracting attention. 7 ft. 5ft.  OMG HE’S UNDER MY BIKE. As in the bike I’m SITTING ON. He’s nibbling at my shoelaces. Don’t move. Don’t breathe. Don’t breathe.

He meandered away without incident, but I had to stop and breathe (having neglected that while he tested to see if my shoes were edible).  My 1st thought was:  Cool. Woah. 2nd thought:  That would’ve been really embarrassing to admit if I had stuck around that long and he sprayed me. Whew. Thank you jesus. 

Next time on Adventures in the City:  Stoned

I’m with stupid

She is not just a scene stealer & credit taker.  She is dumb as fuck.

We sit just across the hall from each other and tend to talk back & forth throughout the day.  She requests things, and I comply.  I am a rock star assistant.

“I’m a tactful, patient person.” I repeat to myself when the going gets tough.  It’s not like she asks for the moon (except she expects me to read her mind).  She just asks me things a normal person wouldn’t.

Today in “A Day in the Life of a Rock Star Assistant”
I sent out an email inviting our employees to partake in a local run/walk event. The email had simple, explicit instructions for registering on the event’s website. So far 27 people have registered & pledged. None have had difficulty with the website.

Boss: Grace? I’m on the website from the email you sent. How do I register and what’s the password to get in?
Grace: It’s all in the instructions I put in the email. It’s ********
Boss: Yea that didn’t work.
Grace: Well it was working fine this morning. Check to make sure you didn’t add a space to the password.
Boss: I didn’t. It’s still not working.
…
Boss: Grace? I typed it in 3 times the same way and only the third time worked. You should check on why that is.

No. I should check my insanity levels and quit before I get dumber by standing next to you for too long.

Also covered in this conversation:
“It added an extra person. How did it do that?”
“It deleted all my family.”
“It added my husband 2x now.”
“You need to fix this process. Can’t you change the run/walk’s software? Like edit it?”

Story of My Life

Once upon a time, a young woman named Grace decided to go thrift shopping. She plotted and planned, and left right after Saturday morning cartoons. After stopping at the gas station for a fill up, diet coke & atm, she drove off to her first store. For a moment, she considered leaving her purse in the car, but “it’s the city” so she grabbed it & her soda and walked to the building. A wetness on the purse made her pause. Looking inside, she saw that the semiwaterproof bag was suddenly a small lake - with journal, cell & ipod swimming inside. She hurriedly grabbed out the items as fast as possible but already knew they were shot.

Luckily the journal’s pages were only damp on the edges - as it had rested almost above the floodwaters on the ipod. The ipod & cell… are dead. RIP.

Not one to freak, she cleaned and dried as much as she could and then proceeded to the thrift store. It was eh ok. Then to the next one… it was closed for restocking. The next was empty and up for lease… and the next was condemned by the city. Awesome. “Just not in the cards to thrift today” she said and went home proud to say that she handled the situation with true grace and calmness. Now how does she tell someone about her idiotic mistake without a phone??? Not even a landline. Not even sure payphones exist anymore. And roommate is gone for the wkend so no one to borrow a phone from to call home.

Cell - Dead
Voice over IP - Not working
Available to chat - via Email or AIM

msg me?

-love, your favorite moron

new music meme

I’m bored so… a meme. Stolen from All the Wine

Put your mp3 player or music player on your computer on random.
Post the first four lines from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song (Skip repeat artists).
Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.

FYI - there are definitely a few embarrassing ones on here. oi

1. the tyranny of
trying to know
everything takes
over the freedom

2. Like we always do at this time
I go for mine, I got to shine
Now throw your hands up in the sky
I g-go for mine, I got to shine
Good Life - Kanye West (All the Wine)

3. Bright lights, big city
Was quite extraordinary.
The drive was pretty.
I was in perfect company.

4. Everyone is right
And no one is sorry
That’s the start and the end of the story
From the sharks and the jets

5. I’ve got something up my sleeve that I don’t want to show you
Cause everytime I bleed I make a fool of me
I’ve got shakey little fingers, that hold on to your grip
You’ve got wrapped around my world

6. You were waiting for me, you saw me, you saw me
As I wish the whole world would
You would never hurt me, desert me or work me
For all the things you thought you should

7. it feels less important when you want to wait it out
i had enough feeling give me what i want or put me on the streets
i’m getting tired of living my life like nothing’s happening
talk is cheap but lies are even cheaper

8. From Jamaica to the world,
this is just love,
this is just love,
Yeah!
Love Generation - Bob Sinclair (cl)

9. Oh no I just keep on falling
And where’s hope when misery comes crawling?
With your faith you’ll trigger a landslide
To kill off this common sense of mind

10. All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Unwell - Matchbox Twenty (cl)

11. I sit and think about the day that you’re gonna die,
‘Cause your wrinkled eyes betrayed the joy with which you smiled.
Care to see my reason?
Care to put your life in mine?

12. it’s your bed
so please choose a side
I’ll take the one closest to the door
and you start to speak

13. It was not tricky to enjoy
A cigarette in hand was the key to understanding
To seek out and to destroy
The mindless oversights

14. You stay away from your window light
You used to have a life
You got a box of light
You got your eye and your heart abound
Reality TV - Infadels (cl)

15. Yo there’s somethin wrong with my radio dial
Some of these fools just ain’t got style
I don’t know why and I don’t know how
But I do know a dude low and you so foul

16. I’m hot
You’re cold
You go around
Like you know

17. It was one hundred degrees,
As we sat beneath a willow tree,
Whose tears didn’t care, they just hung in the air,
And refused to fall, to fall.

18. Let me what the sun don’t like, caught somewhere between stop and go like yellow lights. (ah ha) hustla so i got to get it mellow ride me down the block around the clock nothin nice. I roll like cherry red yellow dice just watch it pop call it the “kettle white”, its hot, just the block , call it the “ghetto wife”, Paul McCane its my ball and chain, mi amor.

19. Why do you let me stay here
All by myself?
Why don’t you come and play here?
I’m just sitting on the shelf
Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? - She & Him (All the Wine)

20. It’s been a long time coming..
Days, days are turning to nights now
They said… they said I’d be okay
But when I hear those church bells ringing

tagging… SangriaPong

1 Year

Happy 1 Year at my current job!!!! To celebrate - or rather, help deal - with the occasion, I present: Modern Diet performed by one of my favorite bands, The Redwalls.